The Daddy Poem I Never Wanted to Write ~ April 2019

When did I lose you daddy? Where did you go? You weren’t able to tell me So how could I know? When did I lose you daddy? When did you go? Was it when you didn’t remember the last time you saw me? Or, was it when you couldn’t say ‘I love you’ back to me? Was it when you gazed at me with confusion in your eyes? Or, was it the day that you died? When did I lose you daddy? You were still there, so why did I already miss you so? You seemed a different man daddy That damned disease killed you long before you took your last breath. When did I lose you daddy? Or maybe I never did And maybe I never will For you’re still here daddy... ...in the sarcastic wit I inherited from you or learned by your constant demonstration ...in your lasting example, in being both cautious and cynical while still seeing the world through eyes of optimism and gratitude ...in the contagious joy you shared any time you saw a child, whether known and loved or some little unknown passerby ...in the appreciation you displayed in enjoying little things, such as people watching and feeding the birds ...in the creativity you inspired in your ability to find safe public places for quick power naps ...in the earnestness you modeled when you patiently taught me the “right” side of the road when riding a bicycle ...in your example of generosity in time, energy and thoughtfulness ...in the wisdom you passed along from a life well led including “Only buy why you can afford” and “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” ...in how you respectfully you treated your wife, your family, your friends and acquaintances; even your adversaries ...in the stories we will tell over and over and over until we share them together again one day ❤️